Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Chapter 70~U13 National Rugby Competition
This week is a busy week for a lot of people and that includes me. i had remedial lessons on Mon, wed and fri for U13 and U11 rugby matches and napfa on thurs. Looks like i won't be able to go back home for dinner for this week. I saw how the B boys played and i am really enjoying myself yesterday. anyway, i have a notice for all. The school will not be paying for my trip due to my inexperience and i am an untrained teacher. guess i still lose out when compared to Beng Whatt. On tues, i wasn't feeling good though i understand why the school make such decision, i understand every thing and i am not unhappy with it. i just can't seem to explain to myself. i am really lost that day. That's beside the point, i thought over this, discussed with sarah, puk ki and shanthi, conclusion is I will go, i will enjoy myself there and learnt from the trip though i have to pay the bills.
U13 National Rugby Competition, we won. Obviously. I am so proud and happy for the boys! Well done! I saw how hard the boys played and they did well. i saw the boys cheering on them and Thomas was also cheering for them. One saints and one family. After that sarah and i boarded the bus that is heading back to school. Rosalind then popped 2 question asking where is DARIUS and where are the boys' bag?? i asked around while leon and gerald are playing with the boys at the back of the coach. i didnt get any reply from DARIUS but Leon got back to me by telling me that there is a boy who is admiring me. HAHAHAHAHA.. then i told leon to come to the front of the coach, he tells me to go back. But sarah ask me to stay, and MR LEON CHAN actually made me call him on the phone to ask. Stoopid right, we are like .. erm 3 metres apart and i have to use my phone to call him when he didnt even answer my questions. we reach school at 8pm in the night and then we left for dinner at sumo house with sarah .
3:49 PM
Monday, April 16, 2007
Chapter 69 ~ Rugby match -B boys
I didn't get to take any pictures for the B boys so no pics but got quite a few thoughts running in my mind. on the ride with thomas, sarah and rosalind, i just felt that the atmosphere is different, compared to the ride with eunice. this was my first "Rugby" match, i mean watching it start and end. though i am still sort of blur with the game, i was able to follow through it and mentally be with the B boys. I was with them throughout the match. i was with the audience, i was standing beside them(mentally). i saw how hard certain ppl cheer on, like Mrs John, i am sure she enjoyed the match though they lost, she shouted this to them "you can do it SO DO IT" how true, it works the same way like "if you believe in a miracle,you will witness one". the whole day in school i felt so depressed, but when i left to watch the match, i saw how hard they played, i saw how serious they looked, then i realised that what they have been going through for the past few days is really hardship in comparison to me, mentally prepared for the match, physically prepared for the match. one of the cheer leaders said these to the crowd supporting SA when the score was 10-0, "we have not lost the match, it is still not over, cheer for them, support them and they will win. open your mouth and cheer." how true. i put myself in the players' shoes. if i were to be supported, if the crowd is still with me. i will still and continue to try my very best, not to let you down. but again thoughts continue to flash across my mind, i knew i had to pen this down before i forget.
Life is like a game of rugby, there is halftime for you to reflect on what you have done wrong, but there is no rewinding, no regrets. you have to use the halftime to change your way of working to adapt to the new circumstances. Every night on your bed, its your halftime. every one of us has supporters in our lives, we might not know them but they are always with you. your friends, the strangers on the road, your family.
6:59 AM
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Chapter 68 ~ flooded mind
My brain cells are dying and who can help, so what if i can multi task, my brain cells jus dun wanna do wat i can it to. i am so freaking tired but i jus cant rest. There is Chinese Remedial later, and tue there is rugby training(i love to be there, i like to watch the boys train, the coaches coach, the weather and everything),wed there is tournament, but i also have a competition on microsoft ppt and it will end at 3, hope i can make it there on time to be with the boys, i really dont wanna miss out the match, i hope so. on thurs, there is napfa, should be quite fun, i think, i jus enjoy watching the boys slogging themselves out. i find that so wonderful when they put in their heart and soul in certain things, like PE, matches, competitions and blah blah blah... fri another match for the U11 south zone =)....
I guess its just the day's lesson that fails me and dreads me. i am so freaking tired and drained out. help me.. i guess even if everyone i know treats me to a meal, also cannot keep me hyper!! what can i do. what should i do. what must i do. i dun even have appetite for anything. help !! i hate my life to be like that. i hate it when i wan to do something but i just can't . i hate it. i hate it . i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. i dun wan to hate my life. i dun even have to energy to smile. who can help me with that. i have no energy to smile. i am so dejected. so dejected. so dejected.
9:14 PM
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Chapter 67~ A SATURDAY in school
It was a sudden decision i made to go back to sajs on sat, i knew there must be training on sat, but no one told me, so i sms leon on fri, he was tryin to be humourous, i think and yes i was amused, yes, i am very easily amused. anyway, during mahjong , i hit my nose and lips, of course my nose bled and lips got swollen,and its fine now.
sat, i was lazing around thinking of i should go or not, i chose to go because if the boys can be so committed to go for training to prep for the match, why cant i go to support them morally, thou i think my presence wont be of much use. i went back to do some work, and i completed my lesson plans, and part of the ppt that will be used on tue's mass lecture. Around 10 am, i wasn't in the working mood and mode, so it was more of a slacking session at that time as what i planned had been completed. Leon was walking towards the shade looking very sick, of course me being such a nice person asked if he was alright, and he said yes when he wasnt looking good. anyway, the rest of the coaches look at me as if i was an endangered species. Then roy walked up to me telling me that i have a chance to be GU NIANG~~ for a while, i was like .. erm .. what was he trying to say, then he talked to me so softly that i think only a mosquito can hear him, i can't hear him but i try my best to make up wat he was saying. he wanted me to go to his van to get an umbrella for leon. on my way to his van , i realise that i had an umbrella in my bag, so do i still need to get that for him and will leon use it ?? i mean, if i am leon i wont use it. Anyway, i reached his van and got it. i pass the umbrella to roy, and *blink blink*, i was right, leon won't use it, as for me roy offered me the umbrella, but i rejected, i haven't been out in the sun for a long period of time. Roy teased me in front of the boys, and they also realised that Roy is bullying me!! they then left for their hydro session happily. This was when many thoughts came across, honestly speaking, to teach in a primary school means u must really enjoy the company of them, and i can see it in gerald and leon's faces when they are in the pool with the boys. the boys are clinging on to leon and gerald while they are moving, this scene reminds me of what i also do to my dad while in the pool. they played and i watched, in the pool, there aren't any coaches, just friends and playmates, how nice and sweet. then matthew came and roy joined in. after that they went to AVA for theory lesson by Gene, the lecture or lesson anything u like it to me called, was enriching but i guessed i wasnt still feeling well (my nose and lips) i was getting lethargic. as i was leaving the school, gene asked if i wanna join them for lunch, i wanted to reject but i was hungry. i popped into his van, and everyone who saw me cafeteria at PUB (public utilities board) was shocked, that include roy matthew and leon. besides us was karen and "i dunno who"(a man). obviously, they would order beer and marcus asked me a question, he told me to look at the logo of tiger beer and tell him whether the tiger is a male or female. i dunno and i got to wait till monday for the answer. if u knw the answer tell me. thanks for tat.
in that cafe, there was a pool table and some old arcade games. leon and gerald started playing pool and they asked me to join. u know that i can't play well. leon suggested it to be a doubles as matthew joined in. after a while, it became a game between me and matthew. i had tuition at 2.30 and i know i cant make it. i was late and that was for sure.
in the evening, i had a BBQ session with my friends, but some strangers jus wanna popped in and get free food. ITS SO ANNOYING and THINK SKINNED. i didnt had much as i was late and not much food was left for me.
I am so freaking tired when i reach home.
PS: MR LEON CHAN can you dun threatened me with my terrapin??
8:59 PM
Friday, April 13, 2007
Chapter 66~ International friendship daY
stupid day with a stoopid blogskin which is quite nice. but i jus cant seem to publish the blog . anyway , today's event seem to be like a tin of packed sardines and the rain, the students, the aircon, the smell and the damn small hall. The hall is so small but it has to house so many boys and teachers and students, imagine this, the stage is small, the hall is full of people, there is no arrangement for the boys and my p2 are behind the p6, how this, and i am behind them, the rain mixed with their pespiration and etc, see how miserable it is. anyway the most amusing performance is mr khairil , that was superrrbbbb!! thumbs up for him!!! it looks more like it is celebrating the success for FREEDOM writer rather than for IF day, cos one of the boys said this, we can be friends regardless of our colour, race and nationality, because we have the same red blood flowing in our body.
1:59 AM
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Chapter 65~ AN UPDATE
I am taking a RISK for SARAH PHUA. Yes I am using the pc in school to write my blog. My computer at home just cant seem to get connected and that was the reason I have been using to excuse myself for not blogging. SARAH PHUA.. she has seen the most natural way of me in the shortest time. I have known her for how many months, 2 ? 3?? The most 4 months, she took only 3 to 4 months to find out all my weak points and to laugh at my weird behaviour. Can you imagine that!!! Anyway, school has been fun and not fun. Fun in the way that I am getting so attached to the school and I mixed really well with people. They can be people I don’t really know and people who just transferred in like du tao, eunice, ling siang, dennis tan, most importantly they are my new mahjong kakhis. Not fun in the way that life is so stress in school, I like to play, playing after work seem so unreasonable. For heaven’s sake, its after school. I understand the good intentions she had, but she must have a life. Life have to go on, play have to start. Thowing that aside, sarah is one of the people who can really click with me. And I think that sounds good. Don’t you ??
3:49 PM
