Chapter 182~期望然后失望

friends have been complaining abt my blog not being updated ~~

i'm just trying to find the right time to face my fears and be more focus..

i was talking to ms pang ytd and i am glad i did.

she reminded me of why i am here.

she reminded me that i should not have wavered no matter how many obstacles i will be facing and i should focused!

a few weeks ago, many of my friends received our results. many of them managed to crossover, and of cos some did not.

i always knew what i have to do if i cant crossover.. but i was still overwhelmed by disappointment.

i would be lying if i am not disappointed.
i would be lying if i am not jealous.

BUT I AM HAPPY FOR MY FRIENDS.
THOUGH I DIDNT GET WHAT I WANTED I STILL HOPE THAT MY FRIENDS AROUND ME TO .
i wouldnt want them to be deprived of it.

at that moment when i knew that i did not crossover.. certain thoughts floated passed me.

why ?
my jc results?
who crossovered?
who did not?
i know what i wan to do. but can i?
i know i am feeling like that because i was once hopeful and now i am disappointed..
but lucky ! i didnt had high hopes.


now, after several weeks..
i realised that when i first joined teaching..
when i first stepped into NIE..
i wasnt hoping of a crossover..
now that i have graduated..
i should be happy and

that is definitely a toast to celebrate!